Step #3 of how to GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER
Have you ever bought a new car? Well, let’s just say, right now you’re thinking about getting a new car. You decide you really want a new Jeep. In fact you really like the color red and you’ve decided this is what you want. A bad-ass new RED jeep.
Then, when you’re out driving, you start to notice that there are jeeps everywhere. In fact, you never really realized just how many RED jeeps there were. Why is it that now it suddenly seems like everyone has a jeep?
It’s all due to something called the Reticular Activating System (RAS).
The RAS is a network of neurons located behind the brainstem and it’s responsible for acting like a filter between your conscious and unconscious mind. Every moment of the day, millions of bits of information have to get processed by the brain and the RAS decides what gets through to our consciousness and what doesn't. If the brain allowed everything to get processed, the conscious mind would be completely flooded. So the brain has adapted by choosing what it allows in. The info received shapes our experience of our world and how we react to it. It also determines what motivates us or not.
Now that you keep thinking about buying this red jeep and you know you want to buy one, this new belief gets recorded into the subconscious. As your brain has now been programmed with “red jeep”, your brain is going to start to filter out the other cars. You won’t notice brown or blue ones or Toyotas or Hondas as much, instead you’ll start to notice all the red cars and jeeps. The same amount of red jeeps are on the road, but now your brain is wired to notice them.
Transition, Change, and the RAS
What happens when you want to make a more life-impacting decision like starting a business or getting a new job?
Let’s just pretend that you’ve been unhappy in your current job for too long (I think most of us have experienced this at some point in our lives… for me this was working retail in my 20’s) and you realize it’s time to make a change. You have this beautiful new vision of exactly the type of environment, people, and energy you want to be around. You know this opportunity will be more fulfilling, more financially rewarding, and give you a chance to enjoy your work.
So, you write down your goal and this new dream job or business in your journal. You think about it all the time and the more you think about it, this new vision begins to get filtered through your RAS and then lands in your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind now lets your conscious reality become aware of all the people, opportunities, and all the experiences that are of importance to you.
You’ll start to notice how many other people are successfully self-employed or loving their jobs. You’ll see signs of this goal when you get online or talk with a friend. It’s like suddenly there is all this evidence around you that this new DREAM is being lived by so many people. You’re excited and can’t wait to quit your job.
But what happens when you start to have negative intrusive thoughts like: “There’s no way I’ll be able to duplicate my income. And this new business (or job) requires that I’m good at public speaking and I’m so afraid to get up in front of people. It’s gonna be so hard. I don’t think I’m capable of doing this.”
When you repeat these negative thoughts and stories to yourself, the RAS does not distinguish between what you WANT and what you DON’T WANT. It actually filters out everything else that you are choosing to NOT focus on.
This means that those negative thoughts are filtered through the RAS and your subconscious mind will continue to focus on these negative thoughts and feelings and find evidence of those negative thoughts and feelings. And that negative mind loop will continue to create more negative feelings and bring PROOF of it and continue to program your subconscious and create your reality. This cycle keeps you in this limited state of, “see, it’s not possible cause what I see around me PROVES that it won’t work.”
Ultimately, YOUR BELIEFS determine your motivation (or lack of) because your RAS is the filter for which you see and experience the world. If you have limiting beliefs, you end up setting rules for what the RAS filters into or out of your awareness. If you continue to believe the limited belief that you “won’t make enough money” and “you can’t be successful as a public speaker,” your RAS will filter out every bit of information that supports this belief and filter out information that contradicts it. This serves to reinforce the limiting belief, compromising your ability to see alternatives, or other possibilities for improvement.
“A strong belief in yourself is imperative to adopt if you want to make positive changes in your life.”
If you don’t have a strong belief in yourself, you’ll continue to find proof and evidence that you can’t make changes in your life.
Changing your beliefs takes time and practice. The analogy I often use is driving down a dirt road. If you’ve been driving the same dirt road to get to your house for 20 years, then that road will probably have some grooves and be well worn. Driving down it is also really familiar. You’ve driven on that road so frequently, that you could probably do it in your sleep. So, if you’ve been practicing thinking negative beliefs for a long time, it’s probably very familiar. It’s your default. It’s what you know of yourself and your reality.
If you wanna create a new belief (or a new neural pathway) you have to be willing to turn your steering wheel and drive a new way. This means driving over land that’s never been driven on. It’s gonna be bumpy and require your attention. You’re gonna have to keep driving on it awhile before the friction from the tires wears down the dirt to form grooves. But with lots of practice driving up and down the road, it now becomes an easy way to get home.
How to change YOUR MIND
What I encourage my client’s to do is to get in the practice of interrupting the negative belief as it comes up and don’t make it wrong. You don’t want to make yourself feel bad for it (shaming doesn’t help). Instead, tell yourself it’s “okay that you’re afraid, worried or scared, but what you choose to believe is: ____________________”.
I also encourage my client’s to write down their negative beliefs every time they have them and then write down the ALIGNED/SUPPORTIVE belief they want and are choosing to believe. For example, “I’ll never be able to quit my job” to “I’m choosing to find the perfect job opportunity for me.” Practice reading those new beliefs with emotion and passion over and over again. The subconscious responds really well to emotion and high energy. It’s also helpful to visualize and feel into the new belief as if it’s happening. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and imagined, so every time you give your brain this new experience, it becomes your new truth.
This process of changing your beliefs and re-wiring your brain is called neuroplasticity. It’s the ability of your brain to change and adapt. Your beliefs and neural patterns are not fixed and can be re-programmed.
If you want to make some changes in your life but find yourself continuously stuck or not getting the result you want, most likely, it all goes back to your beliefs. Practice INTERRUPTING those negative thoughts and telling yourself a new story more aligned to your desire.
The clients I’ve coached who’ve done the necessary work to believe in themselves always have the biggest breakthroughs and take huge leaps forward. They are the ones who stop feeling like a victim and instead take inspired action to change their lives. They are the clients who finally quit their jobs or find their soul mate after years of being in unhealthy relationships.
You ultimately are the creator of your life.
You get to believe anything you want and that’s how the story gets written. If you could write your story, what would it look like?
Who would you get to become and experience?
Who would you be relationshipping with?
What purpose would you be serving?
It's all your choice…
Jessica Sheaffer is a compassionate, intuitive life coach in Austin, TX with over 20 years of experience. Her mission is to help her clients release what no longer serves them, align with their divine purpose, and start living a life they LOVE!
Click here to learn more about her services.
